We have had a hard couple of days. Brinley is pretty sick and cries a lot. If she's not crying she's screaming at someone, the steroids are the culprit of that, and her tummy hurts a lot. I feel so bad, I know this is so much easier than in the beginning, but these days really throw us all back to when she was first diagnosed and miserable. I hope it will end soon, she doesn't know how to handle how she is feeling and it has been very difficult to keep her happy. If I am being perfectly honest, say what you will, it has been very difficult to keep in our frustration. It's one thing to look from the outside in, but living this every day, even if it is for 7 days at a time, has been so trying and exhausting. I don't know how to handle the monster that these steroids bring. It is not Brinley. It is not her, I can see it in her eyes. I can see the frustration. When she loses it, she immediately melts down and just cries, like she regrets it and doesn't understand why she is acting this way. I can't explain it to her!! It's not your fault Brinley!! Even knowing that it is not her fault, us being the ones responsible for handling the peace in the home, we are so discouraged. We just can't find the peace. It is just hanging on during the storm and waiting for it to end and for peace to be restored. And enjoying the few moments of joy that come in the meantime. Peace is something that I yearn for when I don't have it. This has been a particularly hard chemo week. I think that they will adjust her 6MP, because she is still quite nauseous. She may just be sensitive to it.
Some highlights: we went to the park twice and she had a ball, she was so happy there. It made me so happy to see her happy and enjoying life for a moment. We went to my Grandma's house today and the kids had so much fun. They roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and enjoyed time with their cousins. Brinley was not feeling great, but she was better than she has been at home, so it was good to get out. We decided a couple weeks ago we needed a swingset, so we bought the cheapest one we could find, and it has been the best money we have ever spent! Brinley is so happy, she can be out there for hours if someone will push her! So we have been spending a lot of time pushing her the last few days, and she just laughs and says how fun it is. So there you have the postive side, whew, sometimes it's tough to find the good stuff, but I did it. That's a lie. I could find a slew of good stuff to write about. Life is good!
I'm a little slow with getting pictures up, some of these are a little old. Better late than never!
Taylor performed in a school play a couple weeks ago, here she is with some good friends.
Mylee's blessing day. Grandma Torres made the dress, she looked so sweet!
What a support system, eh? My lovely family!
A kiss for great-grandpa.
Aunt Huenu got some good smiles out of Mylee!
Ahhhhh, one of the good moments we have had lately, a last minute decision to eat dinner outside.
This is to remind me that there are times the really do get along....so sweet.
A smile for Daddy too!
Okay, I had the BEST MOTHER'S DAY EVER! My family was so sweet, I got crab legs for dinner with a fancy table, courtesy of Taylor, and it was a wonderful day. The best mother's day yet.
Yes, I'm putting in a sick picture, this was today, how can you resist that sad little face asking to go back out to swing....of course we granted that request!