I finally called clinic yesterday because Brinley could not hold anything down, they decided they wanted to see her.  It was 3:20 and they close at 4, and I COULD have gotten there by 4, but I guess with it being Friday night, no one wanted to stay to see her, so they made her go to the ER.   Maybe they had some fun plans for the weekend.  (Do I sound bitter....I guess the $100 copay and the 4 hours of waiting at the ER makes me wish they would do a little bending for us....I know, selfish of me -workin on that)

When I walked into the ER I realized it has been quite a while since we have been there.  Walking in I was hit with a flood of emotions.  In the beginning of all of this, it was literally one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time.  Now walking past the RTU and into the ER I realized how much my girl has been through.  She walks in like it's her second home.  Even the ER doctors and nurses recongnize her.  You know you've been in the ER one too many times when every nurse you see says "oh I remember you!  I've had you before."  I think we heard that from everyone that treated her last night.  In her short little life, she has had way too many pokes, sedations, drugs, medicines, you name it.  Too many.  The nurse that saw us told me Brinley acts more like a 3 or 4 year old, she was wondering if it is because of all she has been through.  Maybe.
Anyhow, we found out last night that her liver function is very high, which can cause vomiting.  I don't know much about liver function, I will find out more when I go to clinic next, but the oral methotrexate can cause some problems with liver.  She just started taking that in maintenance.  So they sent us home with some anti-nausea medicine and will continue to monitor her and adjust her chemo accordingly so as not to ruin her liver.  And I thought it was the stomach flu....if only.  Doesn't sound like there is too much cause yet for concern, but I think this is a tricky business to balance the chemo you need to kill the cancer and trying not to ruin the organs in the body.  

Great, Brinley is sick today. She was up throwing up all night last night and a few times today. Luckily it is not accompanied with a fever (yet), so it should just pass without having to go up to the hospital. We'll see, but she is pretty miserable. David couldn't even get her chemo in last night, she threw up everything he tried to give her. Bummer, no fun when kids are sick. Jade also has a doctor appt. on Monday about the low fever/mono thing. Yep it's still there.

Brinley has been otherwise happy, Jade is asking every day when she will be 5 (and it's not until JULY!), Taylor has been especially pleasant to be around, and Mylee is still an angel, she started smiling...sooo cute. I'll try to get some pictures up this weekend, everyone is changing so fast, especially Brinley and Mylee. Brinley looks so stinking cute with her hair growing back in. I've found many more people have been staring at us, I guess when she's cue ball bald, they know she has cancer and quickly look away. But when it looks like your mom gave you a buzz cut, well, I guess they don't hold back so much. One woman at Target walked right up and said, "Oh, you are so cute! Did you get ahold of a razor??" It was a very awkward moment, I really didn't want to embarrass her, but she was staring at me for an answer, and laughing it off wasn't satisfying her. So I chuckled for a minute, then had to say "no, she has leukemia." Poor woman was so embarrassed.

My kids say things all the time that just make me laugh. I wanted to share some things they have said that you would only hear in a cancer family.

1. (Background: Brinley has a central line, it is a tube that goes into her chest where she gets chemo. We have to flush it every day, it has become like changing a diaper, just something we do daily) When we brought Mylee home from the hospital Brinley was sitting on the couch for her turn to hold her. The second she got her, she looked up at us with a very serious expression and said "We should flush her line!" Like everyone has a line to flush...

2. At Target, Jade saw a baby who didn't have hair yet and in a nice loud voice said, "Look Mom, that baby has cancer!" We walked away quickly as I explained that the baby did not have cancer, she just didn't have hair yet...

3. Instead of "let's go play barbies!" I quite often hear "let's go play hospital!" Or "pretend I have cancer."

4. When taking Jade for a haircut, she got a look of panic on her face and exclaimed "No! I don't want a haircut like Brinley's!" No dear, just a trim.

5. Before asking to go anywhere, Jade and Taylor will ask "How are Brinley's counts?"

6.  The other day, Taylor (my 11 year old) came up to me and said "Mom, Brinley has some bruises on her legs.  Do you think her platelets are low?"  No mother Taylor, here platelets are not low this time, she's just been bumping things like everyone else does...

7.  At a soccer game the other day, one of the parents was admiring the new hair sprouts on Brinley's head, and Jade, as sweet as can be, informed her "She's a girl."  She just assumes people think Brinley is a boy, and it is her job to make sure she corrects their thinking. Like the pink shirt and princess shoes didn't give it away.

Just a few funnies we can laugh about, it sure does help to laugh!

Things are going great here.  The first day of steroids were the worst so far, aside from the constant "I'm hungry, I want mcdonalds!"  It's so funny sometimes, watching a 2 year old with constant munchies.  I've found now that her counts are good the best medicine for her is distraction.  So we have been going to the park (weather is beautiful today!) and the store and wherever we can figure out to go.  She seems to feel much better when she has something else on her mind.  She starts to feel sick mainly when we are at home and bored.  Yesterday was the last day of steroids, so we just have a couple more days of aftermath and hopefully will enjoy the next 3 weeks.