We have had the most wonderful Christmas ever...enjoying a healthy family at Christmas-time is something I will never again take for granted. I, yes, the president of the procrastination club that I will start next week, actually finished everything a few days early and just enjoyed being with my family these last few days. If we had a camera in working order I would post some pictures, but we are currently living life without a camera (GASP).
I love everything about Christmas. I love the shopping, the togetherness, the celebration of Christ, the traditions, I am crazy about Christmas. Every year seems to add a new tradition, and it does get crazy, but nothing melts my heart more than this from my 14 year old daughter. "I LOVE Christmas, not even because I get stuff, I just love the 'feeling' I get when the season starts and we start our Christmas traditions." This is the first year she gets that Christmas "feeling", I guess the feeling of home...that's what it feels like for me. I always remember Christmas being such a happy, special time growing up and I want my kids to have that same feeling when they are grown. So that made me really happy. Tonight all my kids said this was the best Christmas ever. I hope they will say that every year.
I do want to share one of my highlights this season, because it really put life into perspective for me. Some of my cancer-mom friends and I went to the hospital to give a little gift bag to the families staying in-patient at the hospital on the cancer floor. When we got there, we were going to just drop by the gifts to those we knew there and say hi, then leave the rest with the nurses to give out. One of the mom's suggested we just poke our heads in the rooms and leave it ourselves (with the nurses permission, of course...). It's always hard because there are times at the hospital you just want your privacy, and there are times you are desperate for a visitor. So we tried to read the families as best we could. I left there so humbled, and it brought me back to that period of our lives. As we went to the rooms and learned about each family, an overwhelming sense of love for those families consumed all of us. One woman in particular who I will probably never seen again, but that I will not ever forget, was staying here from Idaho. She reluctantly let us in, and we talked a little at first and the more we spoke the more she opened up. Her 12 year old daughter had been battling a disease for 4 years (it was not cancer, but she was on the cancer floor because she had just undergone a bone marrow transplant). She was so sweet, and she talked to us about desperately needing a support system but that she couldn't afford the internet to get on any type of group. She just needed so badly to let out her emotions and frustrations to someone who understood. After we spoke for a few minutes we said our goodbye's. As I turned to follow out my friends she grabbed my arm, and quietly asked if she could give me a hug. We embraced, and she began to cry. She cried in my arms for a long time, and I felt something in her hug. It was the weight of the world, and it was on her shoulders. I muttered out the only words I could find, that she was thought about this holiday by people who cared about her and her family. We hugged again and said goodbye, but I couldn't possibly describe the connect we felt from one person who needed a shoulder to cry on to another who had one to give. I remember needing that but always being too embarrassed to ask for it. I was amazed that she was willing to ask a complete stranger to be that for her. She was lovely. That would be enough to make my Christmas, but wait.....there's more.....As we were leaving one of my friends came up and said "the woman from the room we were just in came out and gave me this and asked that we use it to continue this type of thing for others going through this." It was her, the woman who couldn't even afford internet, and she had given us an envelope with $80 in it. That she could wrap her brain around giving to help someone else at that time in her life was incredible.
We met so many new people that night, from a mom whose daughter had just been diagnosed two weeks ago, and also needed a hug (which she got from my lovely friends) to a mom with a new baby whose 2 year old son had just relapsed the week before after already going through chemo last year. We saw some kids and mom's we know and love. None of us wanted to leave, it weighed so heavily on our hearts, yet lifted them at the same time. I came home feeling so sad, yet so very grateful. I remember during Brinley's treatment how badly I wanted people to know what a blessing it was to have a healthy family. It reminded me that I have that, and I thank them for doing that for me. And I think of them so much, and I cry for them and I pray for them. I am a quiet gal, and don't always say or do the right things like I wish I did, but I know so many people struggling this year and I hope they know that they are in my heart, even if I am not perfect at expressing it.
I hope this season brought you joy and peace. It was a wonderful year for us. Merry Christmas.
Has it really been this long since I have updated? We did not fall off the planet, but have been crazy busy with life, it's moving along so quickly! First off, I need to do a lemonade stand update....we ended up exceeding our goal!! There are still a couple donations that need to go through, but we are so happy with those amazing people who pulled through at the end to help us not only meet but exceed our goal. It is so touching to cross paths with such amazing, wonderful people.
One of those people, a new friend who lives literally ACROSS the country and whom I have never met has decided to do a fundraiser to help in a couple of different ways. I would love, love, love for this to be a great success and I am very excited about it. She is a Scentsy distributor (is that the right word? Oh, I don't know) and is going to call her fundraiser "Buddies for Brinley and Friends". Here's what it entails: if you go to her site at
www.meltingmoments.scentsy.us, you can
you can purchase a scentsy "buddy". The stuffed animals purchases will then be sent to me to deliver to the cancer kids at our hospital. NO WAIT, there's more...all her proceeds from the buddies will also be donated to one of our faves, HopeKids. HopeKids is an organization that provides ongoing activities, events, and support to children and their families dealing with a life-threatening illness. And well, we love them. So it's win-win. Donate a bear to a child with cancer, part of the money goes to help families dealing with a child with a life-threatening illness. I know, right?! So let's get this clear, because sometimes there is still something "in it" for the person doing the fundraiser, such as "you help me sell my product, and I will donate some of my proceeds to your cause". No, not this one. All of the bears, and all of her proceeds are being donated. Just wanted to be sure it is understood how great this is. I love people like this, I just love them. So what's in it for Cheryl? That warm, fuzzy feeling that comes with helping children who need it. Is there anything better than that? Nope, sure isn't.
If you have any questions or want to purchase a buddy, you can also contact her at mrsbess@yahoo.com. You can also purchase a buddy or make a donation through her paypal account at bess4420@yahoo.com also.
I am very excited about this, and so is Brinley! She loves her cancer friends so much.
I must post pictures soon, everyone is changing so much it is unbelievable. Brinley is doing wonderful. She is in Kindergarten and loving just being a normal kid. And we are loving it too.
It has been a week since Sweet Brinley's Grand Stand, and I have not written about it. I don't have pictures yet, but would like to write about the experience and I will post pictures as soon as I have them.
Before I get into the report, I want to say that I am going to be brutally honest. Part of this journey with our Lemonade Stand includes disappointments. It wouldn't be the same without them, and our successes are so much sweeter because of them. So to leave that out would be like coloring a picture with only one color. And I can't pretend this year was not difficult.
I would like to start with our disappointments this year, that way we can end on a good note :)
Things were just harder. We worked harder, we made improvements, we tried new things and there was a lot more involved with our stand this year. All things that would get us to our goal.
Except we didn't make our goal. I was 99% certain we would do our $10,000 goal this year. We received a few sponsorships and we had 6 stands raising money to help us, both things we did not have last year. Those things together totaled over $5,000 of our goal. See how this would make me feel confident, since we were only $2800 short last year? Anyhow, after tallying things up we realized we are about $700 short of our goal, although all the funds are not showing yet, so that is just an estimate. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. We made a little less at the event, and had fewer online donations.
This event took everything out of me, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I am not sure how it happened, and I am still trying to figure it out. All I know is I have only felt this type of overall exhaustion one other time in my life - during Brinley's treatment. Our entire committee felt the same way, exhausted. I realized that we will not be able to continue without making some changes, because we couldn't do that to our family. After a full week, I am still not quite recovered. We talked about how we can do things differently as a committee and I am feeling very confident that with the necessary changes we will be able to continue this year after year.
There is something in the disappointment that I just can't seem to describe to people. Something that causes an ache in my heart when I think about it. I will do my best to describe it but I am not sure how successful this will be. Somewhere within me is a passion that is completely and utterly all consuming. It is a different kind of passion than what I feel for my family and loved ones, or for the Gospel. This kind of passion has never existed in my life before. It's a feeling of helplessness, like you are screaming and people aren't listening. Now before you start feeling defensive like I literally mean "nobody" is listening, please realize that there ARE people listening. Just not enough people to satisfy that "passion" that is inside of me. I think about Brinley and all she went through. Then I look at Skyler, who came to our Lemonade Stand, with so much stolen from him because of cancer, yet so blessed to still be alive. Then I look at Kaidan, who also came to our stand, in a wheelchair because of surgery she just had on both ankles to try and fix the constant pain she is in from after-affects of the chemo. I think about Jacob, who should be in 9th grade like Taylor, hanging out with his friends, but instead is in the hospital because he just had a bone marrow transplant. I think about Daniel, and Anika, and Tanner, and Nick who aren't with us any more. And then I can't breathe, and I don't understand why everyone I talk to doesn't care about this. I don't understand what more I need to do, what more I need to say, because to me it is so OBVIOUS how badly these kids need us, and it is so OBVIOUS what a difference we could make if everyone who heard about these kids would help somehow. But they DON'T! They don't and that "feeling" inside of me grows and grows, and then it's in my throat and my eyes burn and I feel angry and discouraged. It is so hard to have a drive like that for something and feel like you are swimming against the current, but you are swimming so hard because you want it so badly, but the current is the current, and people are people. They will stand in your way, and not listen, and not care, and make you want to throw your hands up in exhaustion and frustration because you are wasting your breath. Or are you?
As I was crying (literally) to my close friend a few days after the event she said this to me. "But Kristin, I am aware now. And my sister is aware. And my friends are aware. And my parents are aware." And I realize that there are people listening. There are people doing something. It may be 1 in 10 people I talk to, but GOD BLESS THOSE PEOPLE. Instead of focusing on the people who don't listen, I should focus on those who have been listening.
Which brings us to the successes of our event. We raised $9,300!!!! That is huge!! How can I sit there and focus on the $700 we didn't raise when we raised $9,300! Robert and Catherine Pedersen were our presenting sponsors, and opened up their home to us and listened to our message. And really heard what we had to say and immediately wanted to help us! Six people/families took on the task of holding their own stands and they were crAZY successful! A few of my dear friends were unable to hold their stands, but I know where their heart was, and I consider each of them as having held a stand anyway. I am so proud to have friends and family willing to do something like this. I will never be able to show them my heart, and how they fit into it, but every person who helped us with this event fits in there somehow. Those who donated, or showed up at the event, or donated money or supplies or items to sell, or helped out during the chaos of setting up (chaos is an understatement), or volunteered, or brought their kids or grandkids, or helped in any other way. They went into that place in my heart that is reserved only for those people who care about this. I have friends and family who are dear to me, and fit into special places, but this place is somewhere different. This is the place where Brinley's pain hides, and the sorrow I feel for those kids suffering or lost goes. It is a place that is reserved only for this. I don't know how else to describe it, but there is no other place in my heart like it. It is tucked away, protected from all other parts, and it is very special to me.
Another success: awareness. This year was miles better than last year as far as getting attention for our cause. We were able to be on Good Things Utah, our event made the 5pm and 10pm news, and we were in the West Jordan Journal and the Salt Lake Tribune, with a HUGE picture in the paper. Half of this battle is awareness, because awareness=funds=research=cures. Several of my cancer mom friends were in news stories, or newspaper articles and it made me so happy to see the media giving this some attention. We even spread it to other states with our Las Vegas and Maryland stands!!
After our event, I read the blog of our dear friend Skyler. His mom had written about our event, and if you know anything about Skyler, he has been to hell and back. He has been on death's door, and survived. He is truly a miracle and we love him. Every time I see him my heart breaks. It rejoices that he is still here, but breaks for what cancer has stolen from him. And as I read her blog, I knew that if we did not succeed in anything else, reading her blog and watching him go down that slide and take something back from that beast was all the success I needed. You can read about it HERE.
Last but not least, we learned something from this. We learned that we are not perfect, we make mistakes, we offend people accidentally, we hit walls, we fail, we succeed, we get frustrated, we cry, we fall down. Then we get back up, brush ourselves off, and keep swimming against the current. Because there are kids on the other side who need us to swim.
There are so many thank-you's to offer. Our amazing committee, who have been dedicated to this from the beginning. David who is right there with me all the time. I am so blessed to do this together with you. Alissa, Craig, Nancy, and Melanie, you make my heart happy and I am so blessed to have you in my life. Thank you. Mom and Dad, Matt and Jen, Ali, the Creer Family, Lori and Rob and my awesome cousins, the Nawrocki family, Alissa and Craig, Nancy and posse, thank you for taking on a stand of your own this year. You amaze me. So many people who helped in so many ways. Thank you. This was a success. It really, really was.
One more plug for tomorrow....
Join your voice with ours in the fight against childhood cancer! Come to our Alex's Lemonade Stand Grand Stand tomorrow at Veteran's Memorial Park in West Jordan from 12-6. The event will include a bounce slide, rock wall, carnival games, music, food, and FREE lemonade!! All activities are free, and hot dogs will be available for purchase. Help us raise awareness for these little brave fighters!
We got to go on Good Things Utah this morning to talk about it. Here is the clip:
http://www.abc4.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=2851858
REMEMBER if you can't make it you can donate online at www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/71351
Hope to see you there!
I wish I had more time to write, but I am in over my head planning our Grand Stand this year, and just have to get this information out. IF you are unable to attend our Alex's Lemonade Stand Grand Stand this year, there are many other opportunities to attend an Alex's Lemonade Stand, thanks to our several stand hosts! This is something we added this year to our stand and have had so many amazing people step up to the plate. It will do so much to help us reach our goal this year. I want you to know about all the stands around town and out of town that you can also attend. Be sure to notice the dates, several of them are the week before ours.
It is September again. Today is Brinley's diagnosis anniversary. Three years ago today we were told our daughter has cancer. During Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Except I didn't know it was, because there is never any gold anywhere. I won't start down that path though, it may not turn out pretty if I do. Our Brinley is doing so well. She is getting better and better, looking healthier and happier month after month. It's so hard to believe where we sat three years ago. I remember begging time to be our friend, so that we could just pass that trial, and praying that we would learn from it. What a blessing it has been to learn from our experiences. Now let's not ever go down that road again.
This morning I was writing a request letter to a business to request a sponsorship for our Alex's Lemonade Stand coming up next month. I was writing about Brinley, her story, and I was sitting directly across from my kitchen window. As I was telling her story, I could see her outside playing and was overcome with a desire to tell them more than was appropriate. There was so much I wanted to say, to write, and so I decided I would add it here instead. Here is what I would have liked to add...
"At this very moment I am looking at her play outside. She is smiling. Her hair is long and curled. She has a flower crown around her head because she is the princess in the game her and her sister Jade are playing. She is swinging on the swing set and facing me but she cannot see me watching her. When she smiles her cheeks puff out and her eyes squint. She has a high dimple on one of her cheeks. I love her smile. She looks like she could be in a movie. Everything seems in slow motion. The tears well up in my eyes, I am not quite sure why. Partly because I remember her bald little head just trying to feel good by swinging on that same swing set. Partly because the future will always be unsure, I will always wonder if the cancer will come back. Partly because her happiness is so beautiful to me. Partly because of where she has been, and where she is now. Mainly because she is my child, and my love for my children is so uncontrollable it makes me cry. Uncontrollable to the point I would die for any one of them in a heartbeat, without a second thought.
I wonder for a moment what it would be like if the cancer had won. I imagine her disappearing in the swing, the joy I was experiencing at that moment disappearing because we had lost her, and could no longer experience these "mortal" joys with her. I wonder if you will feel this with me as you decide whether or not to donate or become a sponsor. It felt so hollow, so empty. Jade outside playing alone, missing her sister, crying for her in the night. I wondered how any family could possibly move on. I am overwhelmed with immense gratitude that she is still here, swinging on the swing, and desperate sorrow for anyone who does not share the same outcome as us. And I wonder how in the world I can give you a picture of this moment. I only wish I could send it in this letter somehow so you could feel it when you read these words, how desperately I would like to give that to you. I beg you to help us raise this money, help fund this research that is so unfairly underfunded. I beg you to care about this. I beg you."
That's what I wanted to write.
My how time flies...our Alex's Lemonade Grand Stand is fast approaching! Now I know what you are thinking. You are thinking....Kristin, you just asked us all for something, rememberrrrrr? The CureSearch Waaaaaalk??? I know, I know, I really did ask you to join our team, begged maybe, if I remember correctly. I couldn't help it. It was the first walk, I was so dang excited about it, I thought I could get away with asking for a couple of things right in a row and then laying low until next year again. Plus the walk was amazing, and if you came I really don't think you regret it. PLUS, I was very clear about not asking for donations for the walk (yes there was a $10 registration fee, but that's where it stopped, right? Remember?) How does that sit? Okay, got that out of the way, I can see that thought drifting from your mind. So...
Last year we decided to host our first Grand Stand during September (Childhood Cancer Awareness Month), with a goal of 10,000 going towards life-saving research for pediatric cancer. We ended up with $7,312, great for our first year. This year we want to meet that goal of 10,000 and are asking for your help. Want to be involved yet? GREAT, here are the ways you can help:
- Hold an Alex's Lemonade Stand in your neighborhood under our Grand Stand. I would provide cups and lemonade, signs, posters, etc. You could hold it the day of our stand (September 17th) or the week before. It could be at a local store, in your neighborhood, whatever works for you. You would finish up by coming to the party in the afternoon where we will all meet together at the central stand location. We are trying to get at least 10 families/volunteers to participate in this and will give more details if you think you are interested. You can e-mail me at kristinltorres@gmail.com. We would love to spread our Grand Stand all over the place this year if we can, the more people recognize Alex's Lemonade Stand the better.
- Volunteer at the stand. Just give us the hours you can be there and we will give you a job. It could be anything from selling things, running the bounce house, serving lemonade, blowing up balloons, easy stuff like that.
- Make a cash donation. You can donate online at http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/71351. Honestly, amounts are not important. Something as simple as $5 shows you care. Our first year we had an elderly man write a check for $1. It was something none of us will ever forget. I donated $1 at the grocery store the other day for a fundraiser and guess what? They didn't spit in my face! They didn't say "is that all?" They didn't laugh, or ask me if I was poor, or tell me to keep my stinkin' dollar. They thanked me! With great big smiles!
- Donate a raffle item. Our raffle was a huge success last year, and really fun!! So we would love to make it bigger this year. If you would like to contribute something to it we would be so grateful! There will also be drawings for gift cards, so any donations to restaurants or shopping would be wonderful.
- Show up with your family. Show your kids that we are here in this world to help other people, even if it doesn't directly affect us. I'm sure they won't mind the free bounce house, carnival games, face painting, dancing, prizes, food (okay the food's not free..but the lemonade is!)
- We are also looking for a food vendor that would be able to serve food on-site and donate the proceeds. Just thought I'd throw that out there too :)
Our inaugural CureSearch Walk in Salt Lake City was a HUGE success. I mean HUGE!! When we started committee meetings we set our goal at $50,000 (sounded almost out of reach) and 30 teams. Our team goal was 50 members and $500 (we weren't really fundraising since we have the Alex's Lemonade Stand coming up). Our team ended up with 66 members and $775! To those of you who joined our team, virtual or present, THANK YOU. Words will never express our gratitude. It was hot, yes. It was a few hours, yes. What you did, that small act (or not so small act) of showing up, or signing up from afar, showed not only us but cancer kids and families in our state that you care about them. You care about their pain, their suffering, their accomplishments, and their losses. Here is our report: Salt Lake City raised over $72,000, had over 40 teams, and 1400 walkers! I was so proud of my state. So very proud. It was an amazing day.
Are you ready for this? CureSearch, one of my faves for childhood cancer, is bringing a walk to Salt Lake. Yes, that's right! A walk for childhood cancer, right here in SLC!! Okay, stop jumping wildly, if you don't calm down you won't hear everything I have to say. Are you settled? Good.
So David took Brinley and Jade to Las Vegas for our niece, Alexis's baptism. Taylor went to soccer so Mylee and I took advantage of our time together by getting a hamburger and going to the car wash (which actually scares her to death, but it's easier to clean out the car with less bodies in it. It had to be done.) Let's just say it had been a while. In the 30 minutes I spent there, I learned a few things, and had time to create a blog post in my head since there was only one little 2 year old voice to fill my head with chatter, instead of the usual 4.
Has it really been over a month since I've posted!! This will be strictly an update, with another post soon to come...
We are back from our trip to Washington DC with CureSearch to advocate for childhood cancer. IT.WAS.AMAZING! I went with my friend and fellow cancer mom, Mystee. I'm so glad she came with me!! I couldn't possibly find the words to describe the experience, but I will do my best.
Two posts in one today! First off, we had the most amazing experience fall into our laps! Jade started a karate class a few months ago, and one day the owner starts announcing that Jade's instructor, Madi, a high school senior, is doing a fundraiser for St. Bladrick's, an organization that raises funds for childhood cancer in a very unique way. You set a goal, raise money, and then shave.your.head. When they announced she was doing this particular fundraiser I was really excited because I know this organization to be one of the "good ones" for pediatric cancer. Unfortunately David and I weren't in a place to make a donation, but the kids all had allowance money they wanted to donate. So Brinley went to Madi and told her she had cancer and they gave her their allowance money. It was very sweet. One thing led to another, and the next thing you know we are on the news. Here is the link:
http://www.abc4.com/news/local/story/Shedding-hair-for-a-good-cause/jnSVSJtNDEqRs7DDSsSd0g.cspx
A high school senior! Shaving her head for kids with cancer. And she didn't even know one. Those are the kinds of people we need more of! What do I even say other than "wow." Amazing. She looks really awesome bald too. I do have to say she looks pretty cool in her black karate uniform with her head shaved. I wouldn't mess with her, that's for sure!
Next on the agenda: Washington DC. If you were following the blog last year you might remember me going to DC with CureSearch as the Utah Team Leader to lobby congress for funding for childhood cancer research. I'm going again. Tomorrow. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I will be meeting with our state representatives to tell our story, and the story of many other Utah children faced with cancer. Some are batting, some have won, and some have lost. All have suffered. And all need a voice.
Each of us in the childhood cancer community have a place. For some it is to tell a story. For some it is to support families. For some it is to be a voice. For some it is to move on, and that is okay too. I believe this is my place. To open my mouth and not close it until we have what we need. A promise of life to the most innocent of beings effected by cancer. How I wish I could do it all, but speaking out for these kids in the hopes of finding a cure is the direction I feel I am headed. I just need the strength to push through opposition and discouragement, because I know it will accompany me.
Speaking of accompanying me, this year my fellow cancer mom (Kaidan's mom) and friend Mystee is coming with me. She has put together the stories of almost 30 of our friends' whose children are facing or have faced this disease. She made a book for each of our representatives of the kids in their very own state affected by cancer. I pray that the right words will come to us as we represent those who can't be there to tell their stories.
I'll report as soon as I can. There will be Training Wednesday, rally Thursday morning and then meetings Thursday afternoon. Wish us luck!
2. In an ideal world, we would be able to help everyone, all the time. In the real world, we will go through phases, sometimes we can help 10 people, sometimes we can help one, and sometimes we can only help ourselves/our families. Each of those phases will come and go, and we need to recognize which phase we are in. Service within your own family is still service.
3. When you are crawling to bed on your hands and knees, and don't know how you will get up the next morning, stay there a moment longer and ask God to help you. He will.
4. Never be jealous of someone else's good fortune during your trials. You will have your season of good, and it will feel wonderful and you will want others to be happy for you, no matter where they are in their lives. Embrace others good seasons and be truly happy for them and look for the day when yours will come.
5. God does not abandon his children.
6. If you need to cry, then cry. Cry with your family, cry into your pillow, cry in your closet, cry behind the door. Then pick yourself up, and soldier through.
7. Learn to dance in the rain. It might be a long storm.
8. Not one breath in this life is guaranteed. Be grateful for each one.
9. We all know about heroes: policemen, firemen, servicemen, etc. I learned about a new kind of hero. The neighbor who brings you dinner when you are too exhausted to feed your family, or takes out your trash when you are too overwhelmed to remember. The nurse who makes an extra effort to make your child comfortable, or sits next to you to talk in the dark when she interrupts you crying in the night. The doctor who thinks about your child after they leave the hospital. The mother who lost her child to cancer, yet finds a way to console a mom who is complaining about treatments for her living daughter. These are the unsung heroes, and are just as important as those we honor publicly.
10. We need each other. I need other people to care about childhood cancer. A multiple sclerosis patient needs me to care about MS. A grieving mother or father needs us to care about suicide prevention. We are here together, and just because something doesn't affect us directly does not mean it isn't our problem.
11. Some things cannot be learned by any other means than our trials. So sometimes the answer to "WHY?" is "because this is the only way".
12. Suffering is called suffering for a reason. It is supposed to hurt. It is suffering. But how beautiful, then, is it when you feel bursts of joy through that suffering? Now THAT is what you are looking for, and THAT is what you can be grateful for.
13. A true friend is someone who is still your friend when it is hardest to be your friend. They know your weaknesses and love you anyway. They are among the greatest treasures on this earth, because they are hard to find.
14. Cancer can take life. But it cannot take love. It can't touch love, that is why it hurts so much when it takes life.
15. You can keep going long after you think you can't.
16. The only person on this earth we are competing with is ourselves. We should try every day to be better than we were yesterday. Not better than our neighbor, but better than ourselves. What would the world be like if we lived by that principle and stopped comparing ourselves to each other?
So yes, I learned some things. Still didn't like all the pain, still can hardly think back on it without getting a shortness of breath, but I learned some things, and for that I am grateful.
BRINLEY’S NO MORE CHEMO PARTY!
Date: Saturday, February 5
Time: 6:00pm - 8:00pm
Location: LDS Church Building (Stake Center)
2666 West 7000 South
West jordan, ut 84084
Brinley is done with treatment! Please come join us as we celebrate no more chemo!!
Dress is casual and light refreshments will be served.
In lieu of gifts we will be accepting donations to HopeKids, an organization that provides hope to families of children with life-threatening illnesses here in Utah. No donation is expected. We felt this would be the best way to pay it forward since Brinley has already been blessed with many gifts throughout this journey.
Hope to see you there!
I will never, ever be the same mother I used to be. I am coming to terms with this, because I can't see this ever going away. Every virus, every leg ache, I will be wondering. Is it back? Has it found it's way back into her body? I can't get rid of it. I am hoping it will subside with time, the anxiety, but it will never be gone. Since I last posted, Brinley has had another ear infection. She is waking up with headaches at least 3 times a week. She has complained of ankles and hips. She woke up one night crying in pain because her legs were hurting. And instead of rubbing them and saying to David she must have growing pains like we did when Taylor would wake up with leg pain, I am sleeping with one eye open watching her fall back asleep, as if the cancer cells will glow in the dark and make themselves known to me. Instead of my first thought being "I wonder if she is having sinus issues", my mind immediately shouts "I wonder if she has relapsed in her spinal fluid." Sometimes I want to turn to that side of me and say "would you please shut up and let me handle this logically!"
We've celebrated Brinley's off-treatment with our little family ( a few times) now it's time to celebrate with everyone else!! We finally set a date for Brinley's off-treatment party and will be posting more about it as time goes on, but for now here's what you need to know:
I wanted to get the activities up first, then get the mushy sappy part up separately. Ready for part 2? The holidays always make me feel reflective, so I have a hundred posts swimming around in my head. I'll have to get them out little by little. A few things I want to share:
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