Sorry I took so long to update, I have not had time or energy, it has been a long few days. We came home to a very sick Jade and went to the doctor the day after we got home. She was tested for strep because her throat was red with white spots, we are still waiting for the results, but the rapid test was negative. So it may be a virus. I would rather it be strep, because Brinley is pretty well covered with antibiotics right now, so I can't see it breaking through that! There is no defense from a virus though, and her ANC is still low, 300, so she would be right back inpatient if she caught it. We are crossing our fingers....
Good news first, WE ARE HOME! We got home around 9:00 tonight. Taylor and Jade were so happy. Taylor said she had been so lonely this whole time, she missed coming home to someone after school. She made a welcome home sign and they had "presents" for her. (Wrapped up toys that already belonged to her, lol). That's about the only good thing about today. I am exhausted so this will be the short version.
The surgery went great, Brinley did just fine with the anesthesia. Hooray! So the central line is gone! She finally got her pretzel at 5:00. That is so long for a 2 year old to fast!! It took her a while to perk up, of course, but she is feeling fine now. She won't heal as fast because of her low blood counts, but hopefully it won't give her too much pain. Next on the list is a PICC line. She needs to show two clear blood cultures first, so she will possibly get it on Tuesday. They will sedate her to put that in too.
Honestly there is nothing to update. Brinley has been fasting since midnight last night. We're waiting for the surgery but she keeps getting bumped. They had to replace her IV this morning, and missed the first vein. It has been a frustrating day so far. We'll keep you posted.
When we told Brinley they were going to take out her line she cried. She's gotten attached to it. It's like a part of her body. You'd think we were telling her they were amputating her finger. But by now she's so hungry that we keep telling her that once they pull out her line she can eat. She finally told me, "Mommy! YOU take out my line and give me a big Pretzel!". Poor girl I wish I could.
I am blessed. We are all blessed. What a world we live in, where we get to have attachments to other people, so powerful that we would literally HURT if they were taken from us. That feeling, that emotion, is an amazing thing. I can look at my daughter sleeping next to me in a hospital bed, and I can FEEL that powerful feeling of love that we have been blessed with. What is that feeling we get from the moment our children enter this world that would cause us to walk through fire to save them? I remember well when my oldest Taylor was born, I was OVERWHELMED with a new feeling I had never felt before. I had never imagined I could love someone so much. Now I have this family full of children I feel that way about. Every mother (or father) knows what I mean, I would jump in front of a moving bus without blinking an eye if one of my kids was in danger. That is God given. That is a blessing. That "emotion" that is instilled in parents is there for a reason. The reality is that all of us parents endure a great deal of suffering on behalf of our children. Why don't we just walk away? Wouldn't life be easier? When we begin that wonderful, difficult, emotional journey of parenthood, whether it be through childbirth or adoption, we are blessed with a bond that could not tear us from them. It is a beautiful thing. Have you ever watched a mother look at a child like they are her whole world? Or a father, a MAN, notorious for being tough, melt when his daughter wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss and calls him Daddy?
Families. They have a purpose. It is part of a plan set up by a Heavenly Father who created us that we might have JOY. Families are essential to that joy. My sweet Jade said to me the first night of this hospital stay, when David was staying with Brinley "I just want my family together in this world." It was a bitter sweet moment for me, when my family is split apart it is a difficult thing. But she GETS it. Our families belong together in this world, and in the next. I have been taught the importance of families my whole life (thanks mom and dad), and now I am reaping the blessings of those teachings. I love having a family in this world. I pray that none of them will be taken from me early (I'd like to go first please!), but I know this life is unpredictable. I know it happens to good, decent people and I have learned that I am not exempt from it. I can't imagine the pain I would feel if it did happen, I imagine it would be just as powerful as the joy I experience with them, however, I would know that things don't end in this life. We get to be reunited with loved ones after this life, how will that feel? We are blessed!!!
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