We went to clinic today, we are through with week one! There were a couple of rough days in the middle, but all in all, it's been a pretty good week. It has certainly been bearable, and now Brinley is off steroids for a week. Her counts are dropping, her ANC is at 900, but they expect it to continue going down this week, so we are going to be extra cautious taking her anywhere, we know how counts can plummet without us even knowing it, and I found out today that the steroids actually raise the white blood count, but the nurse said it actually doesn't mean her immune system is okay, it's kind of like a false sense of security. So she warned us to be careful when Brin is on steroids, even if her ANC is quite high.

We brought Jade to clinic so she could see what goes on in that mysterious place....she quite liked all the crafts and toys. It was funny when the doctor came in because at one point we had all 4 of us, the doc, and a medical student in the little room at once. Brinley was in such a good mood she was just running around bumping into all of our legs, it reminded me of a pinball machine with Brinley as the ball. Needless to say the doctor was very pleased to see Brinley so happy, and us too! She stayed the same weight wise, at least she didn't go down. She is still eating fine. Seven days down with only a couple bumps, 53 to go for DI!

Although it was good for us today, there was a girl there that made me soooo sad. She looked a little older than Taylor, maybe 12 or 13, and she came in on a wheelchair. Her legs were so skinny and I guessed she hadn't been able to walk for a while. She looked so sick. They got her a bed for the infusion room and she just laid there getting her chemo. It made me so sad for the things these poor kids go through. I just wanted to somehow take away her pain and let her have a normal life. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by someone's pain you just wanted to take them in your arms and somehow transfer it from them to you? That was how I felt. I imagined my Taylor going through that during this time of her life. I try not to dwell too hard on why this happens to such young people, but times like that make me wonder why such innocent children have to endure so much pain. It would be heartbreaking to work there every day. I take my hat off to all those who have to see that all day, a couple hours was enough for me.


John Hanks said...

Think of the insight and wisdom you are learning from this experience. You have beat the system if you can say you are a better person for suffering the worst life can offer you. And your family can say that.